With so many developments in the 'social software' area at the moment, and consquent VC investments, you would expect developers to understand the fact a different design philosophy is required. Clay Shirky does, and his writings might inspire some...
"In addtion, when software designers do regard the users of social software, it is usually in isolation. There are many sources of this habit: ubiquitous network access is relatively recent, it is conceptually simpler to treat users as isolated individuals than as social actors, and so on. The cumulative effect is to make maximizing individual flexibility a priority, even when that may produce conflict with the group goals."
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